Jaime Mathis and The Words

A hole in my chest where breath and beat used to be. Ashe mother, I am ready to acknowledge this love For I want to be wonder-filled Rising through mud Claiming the bud of the lotus That we may all share its Life. Family, my origin Destined to be Greatest teachers through Bruising my breast Demanding my yes, I acquiesce to learning the hard way See this scar, Not on purpose, And yet, so far beyond Your original intent. I see you, flesh and blood Heart of my heart, Bone of my yard We all try so hard to belong To sing our own song, Truth to the mother, I can love no other, Even if it means Beholding this world Without its masks Cruelty and kindness Wrapped and undressed Will I continue To fight? Warrior goddess, Priestess, mistress Of all in my domain Embracing the pain in order to Be free. I love you. And I know you love me. That’s it. Messy, hurt Dirty duty Carried into a new world Where I cut the rop...

This post is for my healing and for all the other women who have experienced miscarriage and not known how to talk about it, if it's alright to talk about it, or felt completely side-swiped by the actual process of releasing the possibility of life.  There's a lot of blood when you have a miscarriage at 12 weeks. According to the How Pregnant Are You sites, the fetus is the size of a lime. I have to say these words because for the last 36 hours I've been bleeding and numb. Yesterday I cried and groaned and wailed for a half hour because that was what came out of my body along with used up air and spent effort creating life. I really wasn't expecting this. I woke up Thursday morning with a little dried blood on my legs but thought, "That's ok, I'm having a child. This is nothing to be concerned about." I was so sure I was having this baby in spite of all the reasons my body could have to let it pass. Yes, my life is filled with uncertainty rig...