Monkey Mind Meltdown...
The monkey mind is chattering tonite. It's topic of choice, all the paths I could have taken, the people that were close and now flicker in the distance of time and memory. Sometimes, when this mental noise gets stirred, I try to believe I can drown in nostalgia, in the memory of shadows streaking lines across skin that we swore we'd never forget. I try to anchor myself in years and dates, reaching for the weight I imagined existing in 37 years. Truth? I feel more weightless now than I ever did at 21. Somehow the pinpoints of meaning, coming of age, legal drinking, college graduation, marriage, children, a first novel, became grains of sand in an endless glass. What is a life? The machine is whirring, processing, running amok. Beneath all the leapings I witness the spin. Have to smile. Remember how long it felt like the bottom of the well. Until the day when I punched through the concrete of thoughts, fickle feelings, and experienced the bottomless depths of my own damn sou