Speed Dating Rainbows-An Intro To Yoga Philosophy
My initial foray into yoga philosophy was like speed dating the individual colors of a rainbow. Each was an entire
experience by itself, but the further I traveled through the colors, the more complex
the structure became. I begin to realize that I was in a matrix of
meanings and vibrations that transcended the individual shade of what I thought
yoga was. Of who I thought I was… or what I could become.
If that all sounds a little overwhelming and slightly
disorienting, congratulations—you’re completely normal.
For a couple years, experiencing that stillness in class was
enough to satisfy my need for a recharge from the incessant pace of my daily world.
But then I had a child, slid into post-partum activated
chronic illness, and the pace of life assumed a fevered pitch. I needed more than
an hour-long class—I needed something that would last longer…a time-release
yoga practice that would work from waking to sleeping, thank you very much.
It was at that point I enrolled in a yoga teacher training
course and met yoga philosophy for the first time.
Now I had a background in literature, history, and travel
that no doubt was helpful in being able to stay mostly present on first contact
with yoga philosophy, but let me tell you—that second sutra in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali was like having the lights flipped on full strength after being in
a pitch-dark cave for an entire year.
Yoga citta vritti
nirodah-yoga is calming the fluctuations of the mind
Wait, what? Mental stillness…peace of mind is the point of
yoga? Not being so healthy you live to be 100? Not being able to compete with Olympic
gymnasts in overall flexibility and grace? Not being able to touch your toes
and heal back injuries without surgery?
And yet, perhaps I should have known that there was more to
this 5000 year old practice than simple gymnastics. But I was concentrating on
trying to get my hands around the bottoms of my feet and keep my body healthy,
not attempting to parse the very meaning of life itself.
However, I have always been a practical philosopher, testing
the realities of life against the ideals of a dreamer—so this phrase was
tantalizing to say the least. Alright, I reasoned, let’s say yoga really is about
becoming enlightened. But HOW?
Little did I realize that Patanjali had predicted my
question several thousand years in advance.
Not only did he anticipate my wanderings, he wrote a point
by point outline of exactly how to achieve this still mind.
At first glance, that might read as incredibly useful, and
to my untrained and eager eye, it did just that. “Great!” I thought, “I’ll be
enlightened in one lifetime flat with this handy guide!” I was ecstatic-here
was the antidote to my stressed out world!
The further I read into the sutras, the less confident I
felt. Patanjali was describing lists of ways the mind will betray you and lead
you into ignorance. The lists had lists. Those lists had lists. I went into
information overload and cerebral meltdown.
Thankfully, I had teachers who had anticipated the half-life
of over-zealous hopes for self-realization and the realities of neural capacity for complex
information in Sanskrit.
Just relax, they said, and trust that what you need will
stick and what you don’t, won’t.
I really wanted to relax into all these fascinating ideas like
the 8 limbs and klesas and koshas and chakras and mystical yogic powers like
bi-location—and for the first hour, I was pretty successful.
But then my brain
hit its limit and threw up its hands. No more right now. Not even one little
bit.
You do not eat an elephant in one bite, so don’t try.
I have remembered this experience many times over the years
following my initial introduction to yoga philosophy. Though I have gone on to
not only study but teach yoga philosophy to students like I once was, I still
have moments where the sheer intricacy of this work leaves my brain and spirit breathless.
The difference is that now, I marvel at the complexity instead of trying to
control or master it. I am more skillful at letting the wisdom wash over and
through me, trusting that what I need will stick and when I am ready for more,
it will too. And when the information gets so thick as to drown my memory banks
completely, I come back to the simple, but not easy truth—yoga is the calming
of the mind. And if that doesn't help, I laugh.
Because who in their right mind tries to eat an elephant anyway?
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